Real Estate FSBO

No, no that SOS.I mean "shot of solitude" SOS which I wrote an essay about 4 years ago (blog post is still us but not the essay.) One of my Wigley and Associates' weblog clients is Eden Prairie Police Chief Dan Carlson. Earlier this morning, he blogged a Week in Review post in which he gave a little glimpse of his activities from his personal life. It ended with a paragraph about the importance of quiet time.This week I was cramming to get our taxes done (yep, I'm a laggard) and catch up on client work. On Wed. morning, I noticed that the background tension/noise in my head was approaching apeshit levels so I took time for a 30 minute SOS walk in the Carleton College Arb just after sunrise. Ahhh. That simple break got me through two-days of tax prep and is still reverberating. I gotta remember to do it more often. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/26/2005 1:43:45 AMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_10_01_archive.html#109785910987375812

I started this weblog over four years ago, part of a plan to make Real Joe into a media property, on a par with other big web content sites. The dotcom collapse took care of that, as well as my own naivete about what was required to create a sustainable online content business.I can't say I'm any smarter about the latter. But after a four-month hiatus, I've discovered that I miss blogging for Real Joe. Something about the regular discipline of reflecting about what's going on in my life and the cultural sea I swim in... and getting some feedback from other guys who are doing likewise.I just ordered Real Live Preacher's new book that's based on his blog, supplemented with some essays. I'd like to do that someday. But in the meantime, I'll just blog for myself and a small audience of family, friends, colleagues, and a few strangers. How often? I don't know. My self-employed income is as tenuous as ever, so I can't devote much time here. I'm aiming for shorter, more frequent posts.I hope to have a meeting in another week or so with two guys I know who are bloggers. We plan to brainstorm on ways that we might collaborate on a blog. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/26/2005 1:01:45 AMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_10_01_archive.html#109784442037693222

I'm in Duluth for the US round of the World Trials Championship, taking photos and blogging for the organizers. I did this two years ago but this time it's a paid gig for my Wigley and Associates business -- the first time that a recreational hobby of mine has been a business revenue-producer and business expense-taker instead of a drain on the family budget. Which helps on the home front, minor though it is.I'm increasingly liking the self-employed life, and if I can get my book Small Business Blogging done by the end of the summer, I'm guessing I'll like it even more. My big challenge now is being organized and self-disciplined enough so that I get enough billable hours each month and enough book-writing time in each day. I can't really afford taking a vacation because of the hit in billable hours I'd take. So either I get way ahead of the game by accumulating more billable hours than normal (it's surprisingly hard to get more than 20 per week). Or I get a book published and generate recurring revenue from it. I like the latter option. And if I can pull it off in the business blogging world, then I'll be better equipped to try and pull it off in a Real Joe-related endeavor, like my stalled Ego Orgasms book. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/26/2005 12:34:45 AMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_06_01_archive.html#108636266362892844

Ever had your sperm count checked? I did, waaaay back 29 years ago or so when we were trying to get pregnant the first time. We tried the Symptothermal Method to no avail and the next step was for me to get checked out. I don't exactly remember the instructions the doctor's office gave me but I recalled the scene when I read Stuart Green's Sex and the Married Man column in this month's issue of The Rake. His buddy's wife had a fit when she found out he used a 'dirty' magazine provided by the fertility clinic to help him do what needed to be done to make the required deposit. Lucky for me, my newly wedded wife had no such hang-ups. As I headed out the door with a, um, glossy magazine tucked into my coat, she sent me off with a with a "Hey, have fun!" smirk and a smooch. It never occurred to me to thank her for not going ballistic. Maybe I'll do that today. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/26/2005 12:21:45 AMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_06_01_archive.html#108610211239144707

Real Live Preacher, anonymous for 18 months, announced his true identity this week: Gordon Atkinson, pastor of Covenant Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas.But the bigger revelation to me was that last week he announced he was cutting way back on his blog. He's got a huge (by my standards) following: 1500 readers per day. And yet this has become a problem for him.Right now I find that I am a little too concerned with the comments and the whole "blog thing," whatever that is. Try to imagine that you are a regular guy who suddenly finds all these people having such strong reactions to your writing. Honestly, what would you make of it? I'm still trying to sort out how I feel about all this. Pride is always a danger, of course, but right now pride is not the problem. For some reason obsession, fear and depression are the wolves at my door. I have no idea why this is. It's one of the things I want to know about myself. Also - and I'll say this simply and leave it at that - my wife needs me right now. And I need her. Blogging can take over your life if you're not careful. I want to be careful and not let that happen.The past couple of weeks I've had my civic hat on quite a bit in my hometown of Northfield, moderating an online forum on local issues, taking photos of community events, blogging, etc. It's satisfying because I'm making a contribution to the civic health of the town and of course, I get occasional kudos. But it also connects me to townsfolk and as a bit of introvert, I like the way it happens.So while I have pangs about neglecting Real Joe, and would like to have Atkinson's traffic problem, I'm aware of what I could lose if "success" in its typical trappings came knocking on my door. My civic hat is one that would likely be tossed aside. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 11:38:45 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_05_01_archive.html#108610134072654026

I competed in the first observed trials event of our club's season over the weekend... and I finished both days, the first time since last July when a small plague of miscellaneous aches and injuries descended upon my not-yet-geezerly-by-god body. I rode better than I expected, in part due to the gem of a motorcycle I was on. But I actually tried out my Malcom Smith/Phil Mickelson smiling strategy just about every time I got on the bike to ride a section or to ride between sections. I rode more relaxed than usual and I had waaaaay more fun than usual. My concentration still sucked at times. Radical thought: Maybe next time I'll even try it while I'm in section, like Malcolm.I think I'm onto something here. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 11:22:43 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_04_01_archive.html#108307678855410047

Last Thursday morning, I woke up after having a very vivid dream that Dru Sjodin's body had been found. It was so startlingly real that I immediately wondered if I'd read about it online the night before... or if I was having one of those experiences where one's dream foretells an event that actually happens. My son Tyson had a dream that he was in a car accident only a few minutes before the van he was in was hit head-on by a drunk driver. Sjodin's body was found on Saturday. I told this to my mathematician buddy Bruce Morlan, wondering whether this might make me a minor league clairvoyant. He said I'd need to know a few more details and kindly blogged the details: - Those who dream of an event and the event happens - Those who do not dream of an event and the event happens - Those who dream of an event and the event does not happen - Those who do not dream of an event and the event does not happen He put it in terms of dreaming of tornadoes: "To scientifically determine if our dreams are predictive, we would have to deliberately collect all four of the numbers shown, particularly annoying would be finding out the true number of people who dreamt of tornadoes that did not happen, only slightly less annoying would be trying to collect the number of people who dreamt of things other than tornadoes when tornadoes did occur."It occurred to me that the same could be said of people who pray for future events, like the safe return of Sjodin. If she'd been found alive, there would have been a torrent of media quotes about how it was a miracle, that God answered the prayers of the millions who were praying for her safe return since the day of her dramatic abduction and the nationwide news coverage of it.As I read some of the stories of families receiving the bodies of troops killed in Iraq, no mention is ever made of prayers or God. Yet surely most of these people prayed diligently for the safe return of their loved ones. And just as surely, many of them are now having a crisis of faith because of their lack of understanding of the differences between false prayer and true prayer.What's also puzzling is how supposedly enlighened members of the clergy are generally silent on these kinds of intercessionary prayers. Jesus wasn't hesitant to criticize the way some people prayed, but it's apparently politically incorrect to tell people that prayers for future events are not only mistaken from a statistical point of view (as goofy as believing that dreams predict the future) but potentially harmful to their relationship with their God/higher power. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 11:11:42 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_04_01_archive.html#108306552485508428

Yesterday I was standing at the return counter at Best Buy and the guy examining the digital camera I was bringing back on the exact 14th day since I bought it looks up and says to me, "You're a couple weeks past the return date. We have a 14 day return policy."I tell him that the first camera I bought was a month ago, but I brought that one back and got this one instead... 14 days ago. He patiently explains that their policy applies to when the first camera was purchased. Basically, I'm fucked.My dad had a tough time returning stuff for credit or exchange. I have a vivid memory of him trying to return a Skill saw to a hardware store -- I must have been around ten. He ended up screaming and swearing at the store manager. I thought he was going to punch him. So I've inherited the problem though I don't quite get what the mistaken thinking is. As I stand at the counter, I feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead. It's as if I've been asked to give an impromptu speech in front of a thousand people. My body's reading some goofy signal from my brain that this is a life or death, fight or flight situation. I don't quite have my dad's temper so my inclination is to walk away. Then it occurs to me that I'll have to face my wife when I get home. She's the queen of merchandise returns and seems to actually enjoy the negotiations when things get sticky. She'll be privately aghast at my weak-kneed behavior, and although she's sensitive enough to not berate me for it, she will be upset. So I pause and it then occurs to me to make an offer. "How about I get another camera and keep that one instead of returning this one for credit?" He goes off to check with his supervisor and comes back with an approval but they'll have to charge me a 15% restocking fee. A seasoned negotiator would have argued to have that fee waived since the repackaging I did was flawless. But not me. I'm just relieved. I'm now the proud owner of a Canon PowerShot A70.Looking back on it now, I'm still not sure what goes on in my head in situations like that. It must be a fear of being a wimp, being taken advantage of, bullied -- the legacy of my bullying father who had no reluctance in expressing his disdain anytime he saw a hint of Momma's boy behavior in me.I tell myself now that it's time to shelve that reaction. Next time, I'll take a deep breath and see it as a dance of sorts, a chance to get better at negotiating, a challenge not unlike climbing a wall. The idea is to not so much as to emerge victorious over someone but to create a win-win situation -- a business lingo phrase I hate but I don't know what else to call it. I'm sort of picturing it now in my mind's eye. We'll see if I can pull it off. more...

FSBO Real Estate
Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 10:31:41 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_04_01_archive.html#108307285719766502

I watched the final round of the Masters last weekend and couldn't help but notice how Phil Mickelson kept smiling. It wasn't just after a good shot, either. He often kept a smile on his face the entire time while walking to his next shot.(Photo not from the Masters in Augusta.)It made me wonder whether this was a strategy suggested by his sports psychologist, one designed to help him stay relaxed in a high-choke situation. His smile in the midst of intense competition reminded me of legendary dirt biker Malcolm Smith, whose prowess in a variety of motorcycle events and ever-present grin were chronicled in the all-time classic motorcycle movie, On Any Sunday.There is research demonstrating that by deliberately smiling -- putting your facial muscles in a grin position -- you can often trigger feelings of happiness, assuming, of course, that your intent is sincere. Smiles, like tears, can be associated with a wide range of emotions. So while I've not yet tried it in any athletic competition, I've been trying to trigger a smile whenever I'm aware that my head chatter has drifted into fretting or worrying about something in the future. It's a step beyond Eckhart Tolle's observation: "One day you may catch yourself smiling at the voice in your head, as you would smile at the antics of a child. This means that you no longer take the content of your mind all that seriously, as your sense of self does not depend on it."Rather than waiting for my silent watcher to trigger this internal smile -- which typically doesn't happen but once in a while -- I'm skipping right to the smile. The result is a pleasant little rush, most often flavored with some gratitude. Example: Sonuvabitch, I forgot I have to do X for client Y. But I have to also get the fricking Z done and then... Oh, I'm fretting. [Forced Smile] I love my work. And I'm lucky to have a lot of interesting shit going on in my life right now instead of being bored or depressed. So I'll get to those to-dos when I get to them but for right now, I'm just going enjoy the taste and warmth of this cup of coffee. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 10:17:40 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_04_01_archive.html#108306980984031883

David Brooks is turning out to be one of my favorite columnists. His column on the Pledge of Allegiance One Nation, Enriched by Biblical Wisdom is but one example: The lesson I draw from all this is that prayer should not be permitted in public schools, but maybe theology should be mandatory. Students should be introduced to the prophets, to the Old and New Testaments, to the Koran, to a few of the commentators who argue about these texts. From this perspective, what gets recited in the pledge is the least important issue before us. Understanding what the phrase "one nation under God" might mean — that's the important thing. That's not proselytizing; it's citizenship. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 9:50:39 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_03_01_archive.html#108306742418489130

I enjoyed Mitch Albom's first book, Tuesdays With Morrie. But a few months ago, halfway through his second, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, I gave up and returned it to the library. I couldn't quite put my finger on what bothered my about it or why it didn't grab me like his first.Now I know why, after reading this David Brook's opinion piece in last week's NYT: Hooked on Heaven LiteAll societies construct their own images of heaven. Most imagine a wondrous city or a verdant garden where human beings come face to face with God. But the heaven that is apparently popular with readers these days is nothing more than an excellent therapy session. In Albom's book, God, to the extent that he exists there, is sort of a genial Dr. Phil. When you go to his heaven, friends and helpers come and tell you how innately wonderful you are. They help you reach closure. In this heaven, God and his glory are not the center of attention. It's all about you. "Plagued by anxiety, depression, vague discontents, a sense of inner emptiness, the 'psychological man' of the 20th century seeks neither individual self-aggrandizement nor spiritual transcendence but peace of mind, under conditions that increasingly militate against it," Christopher Lasch wrote in "The Culture of Narcissism." Lasch went on to call the therapeutic mentality an anti-religion that tries to liberate people from the idea that they should submit to a higher authority, so they can focus more obsessively on their own emotional needs. I'm drawn to the Perennial Philosophy, popularized by Aldous Huxley in his book The Perennial Philosophy. I've not read the book but keep coming across references to it by authors who interest me, including one of my favorites, Timothy Miller, in his book How to Want What You Have. Huxley summarizes the fundamental doctrines common to the world religions in his introduction to the book Bhagavad-Gita: The Song of God: First: the phenomenal world of matter and of individualized consciousness -- the world of things and animals and men and even gods -- is the manifestation of a Divine Ground within which all partial realities have their being, and apart from which they would be non-existent. Second: human Beings are capable not merely of knowing about the Divine Ground by inference; they can also realize its existence by a direct intuition, superior to discursive reasoning. This immediate knowledge unites the knower with that which is known. Third: man possesses a double nature, a phenomenal ego and an eternal Self, which is the inner man, the spirit, the spark of divinity within the soul. It is possible foe a man, if he so desires, to identify himself with the spirit and therefore with the Divine ground, which is of the same or like nature with the spirit. Fourth: man's life on earth has only one end and purpose: to identify himself with his eternal Self and so to come to unitive knowledge of the Divine Ground. More to come, including a long quote that Miller uses in his book from This Is It: and Other Essays on Zen and Spiritual Experience by Alan W. Watts. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 9:07:38 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_03_01_archive.html#107928183221645856

We finally got away for our 30th wedding anniversary last weekend -- a mere two months late. We went to our current nearby favorite bed and breakfast, the Thorwood Inn in Hastings and stayed in a room called the Annie Laurie, one of many with both a fireplace and whirpool a few feet from one another. As we luxuriate in a B&B like this one, one of us usually says something to the effect of, "Gee, wouldn't it be great to have a bedroom like this at home -- or at least a working fireplace and a hot tub in the backyard?" And it would be great, of course, but I can't help but think that, like every other luxury in life, we'd soon take it for granted and it would lose much of its special appeal. And getting away from the house, especially when the honeydolist is seriously lengthening and the dust bunnies madly procreating, is one of main advantages of a romantic getaway.So for now, I'll just consider us damn lucky to be able to afford a night away once in a while. And even more lucky that we're still having romantic fun at this advanced age. more...

FSBO Real Estate
Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 9:03:38 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_03_01_archive.html#107884982504725835

I've started reading a self-hypnosis book. I suggested to Robbie a couple of weeks ago that she might try hypnosis as another tool for dealing with her severe tinnitus. It turns out that one of the authors, Kevin Hogan, lives in nearby Eagan where I grew up and has a whole book and a section of his website devoted to tinnitus, which he suffers from, too. She's trying to get into see him.The book, Through the Open Door: Secrets of Self Hypnosis, is a how-to for a number of problems typically treated by hypnosis, including weight problems, smoking, lack of exercise, and miscellaneous phobias. It's a little too filled with hype lingo for my taste, as evidenced by the number exclamation points!!! But they deal with a few more generic problems, and two caught my eye: procrastination and self-confidence. I've realized that my self-confidence often goes out the window whenever I'm competing in sports against someone who's at or above my ability level. There are other times, too - some public-speaking situations, some business meetings. Their description of a self-hypnotic technique has some appeal, ie, easy to learn and devoid of new-agey lingo. I started practicing it yesterday and as soon as my fucking back allows me to start playing racquetball again, I'll try it. I may take a whack at the procrastination technique, too, as soon as I get a Round Tuit. more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 8:25:37 PMContent source: http://realjoe.com/2004_03_01_archive.html#107884888156064695

Funk Ventures continues to pursue opportunities in the wellness space, positioning itself as one of the premier wellness investors in the country. [PRWEB May 23, 2005] more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 7:54:36 PMContent source: http://www.prweb.com/releases/200537/5/prwebxml242713.php

More than 70 families whose homes were destroyed in the 2003 Mt. Lemmon/Aspen Fire will file lawsuits on May 24 in Tucson against 16 insurance companies. The families claim their homes were deliberately underinsured making it impossible for them to rebuild. The actions come three weeks before the two-year anniversary of the fire. [PRWEB May 23, 2005] more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 6:27:35 PMContent source: http://www.prweb.com/releases/200537/5/prwebxml243072.php

Is Park West Miami's next frontier? [PRWEB May 23, 2005] more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 5:49:35 PMContent source: http://www.prweb.com/releases/200537/5/prwebxml243274.php

Bid4Agents.com Realty in Las Vegas announces the introduction of a unique Internet home tour service, a walk-through tour of a home, complete with narration and special effects. [PRWEB May 23, 2005] more...

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Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 5:13:35 PMContent source: http://www.prweb.com/releases/200537/5/prwebxml240903.php

Software upgrade to be released early June. [PRWEB May 23, 2005] more...

FSBO Real Estate
Originally Posted on 5/25/2005 4:26:33 PMContent source: http://www.prweb.com/releases/200537/5/prwebxml242144.php